2012

So a new year begins. I've never been a fan of New Years Eve. For some reason I would always end up crying when the ball finally dropped and the music would begin. I never liked moving on to another year I think in part because I felt like I was leaving something better behind. Every year I was married and another year would go on without a baby in my arms, it would especially hit me hard. This year however, I didn't cry; I didn't even watch the ball drop. This year I was ready to say goodbye to a year I would soon like to forget. Probably the worst year of my life. I'd like to blame it on the odd numbers. 2011 just looks ugly, but 2012 is so much more appealing.

Maybe this year will have a different outcome. I'm not getting my hopes up, but I'd love to know that becoming a mom is in my future by the end of this year. Whether by adoption or further fertility treatments, just knowing that it's not time for me to give up on that dream, would be wonderful. As far as meeting someone new, I'm not holding my breath. That's something I've given up on for now. I'm not in the position to meet someone, and I'm not sure I'm what someone is looking for. I don't even know how to date. I only dated one man, and I'm not sure I'm willing to bear my heart and soul again, with the risk of having it broken and stomped on. Like a hoedown kind of stomping, requiring lots of kicking and heels flying into the ground, repeatedly.

But life goes on and reality came knocking on my door at 5:32 this morning. I didn't want to get up at first, but I remembered the Hokies play in the Sugar Bowl tonight. Oh, and I love my kids at school, so I figured why not? It was worth it. They were worth it. They always are. Now I'm just hoping the Hokies make it worth it too!

My date for New Years Eve